Once upon a time, along the blacktop of a playground, little boy Vinniebadabing Shlomi decided to make a few bucks by demonstrating how a paper towel can absorb Fanta spills in one quick, easy pass.
Inspired by the 64 cents he made that, day, he continued on his quest to be the best dang street-smart sales pitch guy everrrrr!
Fast forward 30 something years later, and Vince Shlomi is a household name as the SHAM-WOW guy...Tada! Dreams can come true.
Feeling like his stardom hit a snag after his latest infomercial hit, "Slap Chop" and wanting a little sexual healing, Sham Wow Shlomi engages a prosti to come to his hotel room one moonlit South Beach night, most likely after he seduces her with a romantic one-liner "Your gonna love my nuts". It didn't take long before Sham-Wow turned into Sham-Kapow! Read the story here.
Now I ask you, what is an educated consumer to do with this news? Relying on the quick absorbency of that thirsty Shammy cloth and the quick precision blades of the Slapchop, I feel disappointed, dare I say, downright saddened that I can no longer support these absolute must-have kitchen gadgets. ::cough::
Yes, now I will have to depend on the archaic paper towel to clean up the 4 gallon coffee spills molding my shag rug as well as chopping all my vegetables and eggs with (gasps) a ...knife!!!
Again, I hope Mr. Shlomishamy can pick up the pieces of this ill-fated rendezvous and continue his infomercial success streak with such innovative and revolutionary inventions.
Inspired by the 64 cents he made that, day, he continued on his quest to be the best dang street-smart sales pitch guy everrrrr!
Fast forward 30 something years later, and Vince Shlomi is a household name as the SHAM-WOW guy...Tada! Dreams can come true.
Feeling like his stardom hit a snag after his latest infomercial hit, "Slap Chop" and wanting a little sexual healing, Sham Wow Shlomi engages a prosti to come to his hotel room one moonlit South Beach night, most likely after he seduces her with a romantic one-liner "Your gonna love my nuts". It didn't take long before Sham-Wow turned into Sham-Kapow! Read the story here.
Now I ask you, what is an educated consumer to do with this news? Relying on the quick absorbency of that thirsty Shammy cloth and the quick precision blades of the Slapchop, I feel disappointed, dare I say, downright saddened that I can no longer support these absolute must-have kitchen gadgets. ::cough::Yes, now I will have to depend on the archaic paper towel to clean up the 4 gallon coffee spills molding my shag rug as well as chopping all my vegetables and eggs with (gasps) a ...knife!!!
Again, I hope Mr. Shlomishamy can pick up the pieces of this ill-fated rendezvous and continue his infomercial success streak with such innovative and revolutionary inventions.
No comments:
Post a Comment